Memories and Depression
by Twinkling Stars
Summary: Remus reflects on life after Sirius falls through the veil. He contemplates about how life used to be... [NOT Slash][One-Shot][Complete]


**Disclaimer: It all belongs to JKR. Need I say more?**

**Memories and Depression**

By: Alatariel Linwe Narmolanya

I've just come to a gargantuan realization. I'm the only one left. Other than the filthy traitor that is. I'm the only piece of the legend that still lives on. I'm the only thing other than the memories of those who were there, those who witnessed the havoc we wrecked on the school, with the teachers unable to stop us. Those were the good days, back when The Marauders were all alive, all healthy, and all so very unaware of what would later come to pass. Oh the horrors that would come to be.

We were all so happy, so carefree. We caused as much mayhem with our pranks as we could ever have wanted or imagined. James and Sirius had their tasteless "flavors of the week", as they called them, the girlfriends that they never kept for more than two weeks at the most. All of the girls came, expecting to be loved and treasured far above the numerous others. But they only got their hearts broken in half when another "flavor" came along. I could never do that, for fear that a girl would find out what I was, nobody but my fellow Marauders and the fabulous Miss Lily Evans, or should I say; the late Mrs. Lily Potter, ever knew. Well, Dumbledore and the staff knew, but that was different.

Aside from the fact that I was always single, my years at Hogwarts with my cohorts were the best years of my miserable life. We had the whole school in stitches, multiple times, from the pranks we played on the teachers and the Slytherins. I remember when we spiked the Pumpkin Juice at the Head Table. It was so amusing to see more than a few of the teachers a little tipsy by the end of the evening. The best part about that one was that we never got caught. Professor Dumbledore had a strong feeling that it was us, but there was no incriminating evidence, so there was no punishment. Oh, those were good days indeed.

But the good days with my friends are over. They began their demise 15 years ago. The demise of my happiness began at the death of the infamous James Potter, and his lovely wife Lily, who I mentioned earlier. Lily was the brightest and most beautiful witch in our year. It was a large source of amusement that James had to chase after her for years before she finally agreed to go out with him. I still think that it was a sympathy date, but nobody else believes me. Lily and James got married about a year after leaving Hogwarts. That wedding was the most fun I'd had since Hogwarts. There was rock music playing in the background the whole time, Sirius broke out singing right before the vows because his favorite song was playing. Let's just say that Sirius is in desperate need of voice lessons. After that was over, the rest of the ceremony was pretty quiet.

The reception afterwards was a riot! Sirius made the toast, so you can tell that the room was almost to the point of rolling on the floor laughing by the time the toast was over. Then Lily and James went out to start the first dance. It was the Chicken Dance. Everyone else ran out to the dance floor to join in. If there's on way to break the ice, that is it. We all had a blast. The honeymoon promised to be fun for the newlyweds, they were going somewhere called Disney World, it's this muggle place where there are a lot of cartoons come to life and other totally weird stuff.

About two years after the wedding, we all received news that Lily was pregnant and then after nine months of trying to find olive flavored ice cream, our dearest Harry was born. But those were dangerous times, even more so than the present. About a month after Harry was born, the Potters all went into hiding. To this day I still don't know where they were. But I vividly remember the day when I received the news of their deaths. They'd been betrayed by Peter, but everyone (including me) thought it was Sirius, because Lily and James had switched Secret Keepers at the last moment without telling anyone. I didn't know myself until Harry found out. The day they died, I felt part of my heart die with them.

After that, I had a brief but joyous reunion with Sirius. But the filthy little rat got away from us when I transformed, so Sirius had to go into hiding. I kept in contact with him, but it wasn't as good as seeing him everyday and joking like we used to. It was better than the nothing of the 12 years prior to that.

I didn't see him again face to face until the Order moved its headquarters to his folk's old place. It was wonderful to be able to see him frequently, but we couldn't see eye to eye quite so well anymore. The last time I ever saw him was the time in the Ministry, when he fell through the veil. That was when the second, and final, part of my heard died. It doesn't seem to work anymore. I've become unfeeling, except towards Harry, and that is just because he's the only living reminder of my old life. The life where I was happy, young and carefree.

But now, I can't see the point in living anymore. My best mates are gone, every one of them. In a way, Peter's gone too. He left the moment he crossed over to the dark side. He's not the man I once thought I knew. But not, my mates are gone and I've got no one to love, I've got no one to love me. My heart is slowly dying; it will only last so long. When it is finished, when I've breathed my last breath, I'll leave this world and never return. I'll go to be with my best mates, once again, only this time it will be forever. And I'll be eternally happy…

**A/N: This is just a one-shot written over quite a long period of time. Please review and tell me what you think. Is it good? Is it bad? Should I keep writing, or should I delete my account and never write ever again? Please let me know! Thanks!**


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